Number One With a Google

Number One With a Google

I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with Google as far as this blog is concerned and by that I mean 0% love and 100% hate.

Originally I thought Google site search would be enough for this blog, but after having waited five months for the Googlebot crawler to drag its lazy ass out of one billion Moldavian spam pages[a] and over to my little end of the web I dumped it and switched to using a Live search macro. I even considered switching my default search engine in the browser from Google to Live. As it so happens, Live also failed to index my site more often than once every six months or so which caused me to finally switch to Sphider[b] and with that I declared victory and moved on, forgetting all about search engines save for my routine of regularly purging any hope I may have accumulated in mankind by looking at the search queries that bring people here.

But just like a surprise that is so much better for its total unexpectedness it seems like Google decided I should end up as the first result for "Hubertuswarte"[c]. Having looked at the web server statistics, I knew a bit of what people search for and what gets them here, and the best I've managed so far is to turn up as a result for "women in togas". On the twelfth result page. We can only guess at the amount of fetishistic energy it takes to propel someone through twelve pages of results and still be clicking through, but I'm sure it is enough to be considered as an alternative energy source in these days of peak oil and whatnot.

So thank you Google.

Thank you for finally deeming my site worthy of being shown outside the circle of toga fetishists.

Did some program in the Google datacenter rebel? Did Page & Brin try to calculate the $25B eigenvector[d] by hand and end up stark raving mad? This humble blog whose IP geolocation puts it in the beautiful foothills of Brea, CA[e] does not pretend to know what the occasion for the bestowement of such honor may be, but it will certainly do its utmost to prove itself worthy of it for all of the fifteen minutes it will last.